Monthly Archive for august, 2011

Det er ligegodt groft nok!

Jeg har gennem tiden købt en del Touratech-udstyr (stærk underdrivelse), og heldigvis har jeg da købt det meste direkte hos Touratech med en fin rabat.

Da jeg desværre har tabt et af mine låg til mine bagagetasker (faktisk to, næsten tre gange), og derfor skulle til at bestille et nyt, loggede jeg på, om da jeg er bosiddende i Danmark bliver man af en eller anden grund automatisk videresendt til Touratech i Sverige, der sælger til de nordiske lande.

Det er jo godt nok, men ikke hvis man kigger på prisen!

Et taskesæt (01-052-0010-0) koster i Tyskland DKK 4.776 og i Sverige DKK 7.196 – alene på låget er der en prisforskel fra DKK 670 i Tyskland til DKK 876 i Sverige!

Godt nok er der en momsforskel, men det her er ligegodt groft nok – heldigvis har jeg en venlig tysk kollega, der gerne modtager min pakker fra alverdens firmaer ;-)

Kørte over for rødt mindst 200 gange i går!

I går kørte jeg sammen med Ulrik over for rødt på rumfærgen mindst 200 gange, kørte mod ensretningen og overskred flere hastighedgrænser – alt mens politiet spærrede sidevejene og ryddede krydsene.

Årsagen var, at vi – i kraft af Ulriks firma, Erhvervsfoto Danmark, var akkrediteret som kørende foto-mc til KMD Challenge Copenhagen. Det blev til 250 km med Ulrik siddende omvendt på cyklen, mens vi kørte ruten og tog en masse billeder.

Det var ganske sjovt, og vi har også lagt billet ind til at køre VM i cykling i september.

Kulula Airways

Min kære kollega Pia har netop sendt mig en e-mail med billeder af nogle af det sydafrikanske Kulula Airways’ fly, og de er ikke helt uden humor.

kulula_this_way_up_plane_4.jpg

Se fx det skriggrønne Flying 101, som er overbemalet med forklaringer på, hvilke dele af flyet du ser på eller ovenstående This way up (se flere billeder på deres hjemmeside, hvor du også kan se mange andre fly).

Is lost baggage really lost?

Hvis man kigger lidt deres hjemmeside, så har de sgu´en god stil i deres beskrivelser – se fx nedenstående svar på, om det virkelig er rigtigt, at bagagen bliver væk.

It’s actually extremely rare for bags to get ‘lost’. What does happen (occasionally) is that the captain can impose a weight restriction, which results in luggage getting put onto another flight. Here at kulula HQ, we realise that you would far rather entertain the idea of growing a third nostril than be told your precious suitcase of shoes will be arriving later, but sometimes bad things happen to good luggage, so we need to explain why. […] In the (still pretty rare) event your luggage is transferred to a later flight, it’s up to us to make sure you receive it, so we’ll deliver it to you at our own expense. Promise. Cross our hearts.

Eller hvad med denne artikel om det fonetiske alfabet, der starter således:

Pilots are a cool bunch ”¦ wearing aviator shades, riding ‘first class’ upfront and talking their own lingo…

Sjove briefinger

De siger selv, at de er et lavprisselskab, der ikke tager sig selv så højtidelig og sætter en ære i at lave passagerbriefinger lidt mere morsomme – læs også de “sandfærdige” passagerbriefinger, som fulgte med e-mailen og få smilet helt frem på læben.

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

—o0o—

On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

—o0o—

On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”

—o0o—

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

—o0o—

“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

—o0o—

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella WHOA!”

—o0o—

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

—o0o—

From a Kulula employee: “Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth”. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”

—o0o—

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”

—o0o—

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airways.”

—o0o—

“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

—o0o—

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

—o0o—

And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airways is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.” “Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

—o0o—

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

—o0o—

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

—o0o—

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

—o0o—

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline.”

He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

—o0o—

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”

—o0o—

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”

—o0o—

Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light ’em, you can smoke ’em.”

—o0o—

 

 

Sjov flyvetur i dag

Det blev en underholdende dag på jobbet i dag. Først kom vi til Stockholm, hvor vi indledningsvis blev radarvektoreret med følgende melding:

Fly heading 110 until further – there are some animals on the runway

Senere fik vi dog heldigvis lov til at lande, da dyrene nu var væk fra landingsbanen (bon appetit)…

Derefter talte vi med rampeagenten – vi kunne godt se, at der var lidt forsinkelser på grund af uvejr, men hun mente nu, at det var Oskars skyld (hvilket forvirrede den sønderjyske skipper en smule ;-).

Senere var vi i London, hvor alt kørte som smurt i smør, og vi kunne da ikke lade være med at trække på smilebåndet, da Ground overlod os til Tower med følgende svada:

Wake Up the Tower on 124.225 when You are ready *LOL*

Fik lige forbrændt 60.526 kcal på en enkelt cykeltur!

Så bliver flyvelægen sikkert glad, når jeg skal til det årlige lægetjek i næste uge (regner med det bliver til flere 100.000 kcal bare alene i denne uge!

PS Håber ikke flyvelægen er alt for smart og kigger på ruten – på et tidspunkt rundede jeg da 911 km/t. på min CRJ-specialcykel og dagens cykeltur var på hele 3.167 km *LOL*


Og så har jeg glemt at medtage de 252 km fra København til Billund, hvor dagens “cykeltur” startede ;-)